and so here begins the creation of this blog. i leave my suffocating small town for uni in over four months and im currently in this waiting room between my current self and hedonistic rebirth. i dont know how often i will post and i half hate promises but i can assure that i will see you again... i love you like a rabbit loves the hopelessness
'i want to be naked. i don't mean my body'
this is too desperately teenage and cliche to be writing in my first post but god there's no one in my life that understands me. i found someone last summer who gave me cigerettes and read richard siken with me in the graveyard. we watched indie films from his memory stick and had vague plans to film some scenes for our own. he took me to an abandoned school and i gave him a new smiths song everytime we met. but as summer died so did our friendship - the flower wilted as the autumn winds closed in.
i fully believe i find people like this again - after all theres not much choice in this town and when im working six days in a row. i want to find a girl with whom i can attach souls and we can baptise each other as one entity in the river or uni room shower or with rose wine and blood in the dead of night. im one for romanticism and symbolic guestures as you might have worked out.
please wait for me future best friend, our twin fantasy awaits
My love has made me selfish. I cannot exist without you. I am forgetful of every thing but seeing you again, my Life seems to stop there, I see no further. You have absorbed me. I would be martyred for my Religion. Love is my religion. I could die for that. I could die for you. John Keats to Fanny Brawne.
Everyone is furious with me for going back to you, but they don't understand us. I feel that it is only with you that I can do anything at all. Do remake my ruined life for me, and then our friendship and love will have a different meaning to the world. I wish that when we met at Rouen we had not parted at all. There are such wide abysses now of space and land between us. But we love each other. (Wilde)